cognoise

Obviously – Ultimate Startup pitch in 5 slides

Obviously

The Ultimate Startup pitch in 5 slides

Slide 1 Ultimate name for your startup

We took the hard job of trying to name our startup over an agile sprint, and we came up with astounding algorithms for doing the same.

Here are the top 3 in case you are interested

  1. Spell badly, this one is an easy algorithm where you take a common word and spell badly, and you can do it by replacing vowels with a combination of vowels, add unnecessary consonants, or remove vowels that occur in between so you can actually get a domain name easily and look good on Crunchbase.
  2. Take a noun and make it a verb that is not already in the dictionary  or take a verb and make it into a noun, usually the play is in the prefix and suffix. Prefixes common include En-, Eu-, Al-, Alti-, Uber-, True-, Super-, All-, Uni-, Ex-  and the most common suffixes include  -ly, -ate, -fy, -in. We preferred this considering our sprint was only 4 weeks.
  3. Take 2 orthogonal words and combine, dimensions commonly includes, number, shape, body part, taste, location,  grocery, sensation, color, element, disease, business, currency, numbers etc. These names will lead to higher valuations usually not so reasonable just like the names. OvalSilver, GreenTomato, ChillSquare, BitterEye, 42Nuts, DollarFever,  are all good names.

Slide 2 Ultimate Tagline for the name

Considering the cerebral processing capacity of investors, we recommend to limit tag lines to 3 words and never more. It is luckily not 3 times the size of your naming sprint. This sprint although short, its outcome, has a veto power on upcoming sprints like product design and modularity of the value proposition.

The 3 word magic formula below

<<present continuous tense verb>> <<on a simple target object>> <<with a perceived/promised unmeasurable value >>

Or

<<present tense verb>> <<present tense verb>> <<present tense verb>>

With value explained in Slide 3

  • Creating customer surprises
  • Reaching peaks slowly
  • Growing traffic exponentially
  • Building plants organically

There are theoretical foundations and void reasons for conducting market research, product design, and business model together in parallel. But…

We being a lean startup with a freelancing founder, could only afford to do this in series, even if this  means diminished disproportionate value  of our ultimate startup.

Slide 3 Ultimate Value Proposition

Product Value Proposition is a little tricky, if your second sprint in the tag line did not give 3 reasonable well meaning words to count on and build layers of meaning and stories that resonate with all 3 parties (investor, customer, employee), consider a pivot immediately and redo slide 2.

If the story sold with other startups (got revenues and investments) with a different set of verbs only focus why you are forever superior fundamentally and stick to this story.

If you are so unique and only one attacking the open available market share, unfortunately we all have to rely on your creativity. Again only 3 verbs

Here is how our current product value proposition is realized

ob•vi•ate To anticipate and dispose of effectively; render unnecessary

Major market need, available capital to be freed, immediate value, and does not disrupt any existing processes and structures, so every customer can feel safe, that is till they actually buy the next module

ob•fus•cate To make so confused or opaque as to be difficult to perceive or understand

Data driven, closed IP, and here is where magic happens, and we will not tell you the secret sauce, but you can taste it from our existing customer testimonials and master chef reports available when you can give away your contact and few body fluid samples on our website for free. Also this is patent pending across 3 major geographies where we see our product leading the market, and you can see the empty provisional patent application by clicking on the link hidden on our website again.

ob•li•vi•ate  To forget, to wipe from existence

Actionable insights that forces decision, forgets reason, and renders functions redundant, as we are the only ones riding that massive, disruptive wave happening beneath in the technology ecosystem. Enabling this is our strategic partnerships with stealth technology leaders.

You can insert a complex picture, typically pushing the limits of smart art or keynote charts with some major links to research reports across the usual suspects like forrester, gartner, and other old analysts that are anyway in a time warp and take the golden quadrant position for yourself.

Slide 4 Ultimate Business Model

Always assume data in your favor in the order of similar startups operating in the space, countries where you intend to operate, and customer segment that nobody heard of existed, till now.

Of course all listeners will lean back to their familiar territories, and your new ground will mostly be lost in translation.

Include metrics with 3 letter acronyms including ROI, CTR, IFT, MAU, MRP, LTV, there is hesitation to question in most pitch sessions that are so tightly timed, you don’t even have to expand these, and all listeners are supposed to know. And yes, include a graph with a positive slope and X-Axis having time line, and Y-Axis one of those value words (revenue, satisfaction, experience, scale, margin, reach, …), a classic.

Slide 5 Ultimate Team

This is an important slide for securing trust. And the goods of exchange is pedigree , and the maximum number that is empirically accepted is 3 again. Hacker, Hustler, Designer; other useful combinations include know him since my childhood, associated for more than 2 decades since smoking our first joint together in high school, and we met at a VC event/b.school/yahoo/zynga/ebay/google or any other billion dollar dysfunctional corporates will work as well.

For style you can include metrics like LinkedIn 7000+ connects, Klout  91, Kred 742/7, mechanical turker rating 42, tumblr followers 420 …

Obviously you don’t want to give away any of your detailed pedigree information till a term sheet is in sight, so always add only logos and never text about the degree or the university. Also they look great on the slide with proper contrast.

Unreadable last names with more than 16 characters or bizarre combinations of consonants and vowels are welcome, along with shortened first names.

Good luck with your pitch, ecosystem respects you for your courage, and freely giving away advisory equity and other entitlements for vague expertise.

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