Why the PMO is dead, done and dusted?

Lets look at some core functions of the PMO and how it is dead, and why they will continue to be irrelevant.

1. Major responsibility that I did when in an IBM PMO was review of a bunch of projects. Review of progress is not so useful in the world of constant communication, low planning and high coordination. Primarily because there will always be a delay to this reporting and whatever form of output, will not be fresh or add to current decisions and progress. Only being engaged constantly, in-situ works esp in the complex/emergent and chaotic/novel domains.

2. Second job within the PMO was demand and intake management. As I see today, the central IT departments are so warped in their own cocoon of legacy processes and structures, their client business departments are fortunately free with their own IT budgets and prefer to go independent.

Thus leaving the IT department only with some of the following that are stuck in a different age tenet.

  • GRC, ERP, finance, other corporate systems, stuck in the records era
  • providing infrastructure that is already commodity, stuck in the pre-cloud era
  • or licensing of standard software, stuck in the PC/pre-mobile era

For example take document storage, editing and collaboration, in the age of dropbox and google docs, when all we get within the company is a PC age MS Word to be sent over email or uploaded in a sharepoint, all these were the IT department’s independent decisions. Take connectivity or storage, with  at least 2 mobile devices per head that have better connectivity and also employee’s overall personal storage leads the standard enterprise storage with poor connectivity. OK those for another post.

Point I am trying to make is the legacy standard processes have lived their life (and dead now) to be managed from the PMO. Recently I was filling a paper form for deploying a mobile application internally, and I realized this in a worst possible way waiting for some PMO to review this and get back on the request. Surely their demand management processes are outdated and responsibilities have shifted elsewhere which is business itself.

3. When business departments have gone independent, it makes it clear for them to track accountability for their investment not some un-translatable set of IT metrics that the PMO tracks. At least through my career, I have seen so many promotions inside the IT department, because of this lack of clear metrics, that even a failed business outcome project could be a grand success IT project.

If the PMO was to be even marginally useful, only way is actually play/perform, not review/report…

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Posted in cognoise

Whats wrong with todays flipkart sale?

Several things went wrong with today’s sale at flipkart, here is my set of reasons why i did not buy anything and will not buy anything in the near future on any flipkart sales.

  1. Annoying and repeated advertisements on tv is my first personal reason, the same stupid ad in the middle of a live sports 5 times in a row, is an insult to the viewer’s intelligence
  2. You have no way of getting to a product detail page from the mobile app without knowing the code that is printed in newspapers i don’t read and the product search results never get you to the actual offer product pages. Classification on the mobile app on top, limited time, limited stock, steal deal is poor design that is adding to the search issues. Of course on top of this images never loaded during the first 30 minutes of the sale
  3. Most items felt like they were all clearance and possibly a preparation for upcoming season sales. It is a massive push for traffic with very less value for the customer
  4. Prices were of course increased and then discounted and there are multiple proofs for this across product categories
  5. If all the stock is going to run out in 5 minutes and why push so much for a traffic that will never convert, and in the process lose trust that you built over a long time

May be all the bizarre funding, silent aggression from amazon, simplicity of snapdeal, lack of original ideas for the indian, and recent successes of mi sales, blinded flipkart so badly that it did not even necessitate to check basic retail sense before starting the marketing and in turn losing at least major chunk of my trust in flipkart.

No deals here.

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Posted in cognoise

Why inventory notifications are not friendly enough?

Can’t believe there is no readymade feature on amazon, zappos, Myntra or platforms like shopify and magento for requesting notification on item becoming available in a specific size, color, style or other attributes?

Can you please let me know when brown uk 10 becomes available on this one.

Surely inventory is maintained that way, why customer notifications are not possible is beyond me?

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Posted in cognoise

Agree to terms below

Valid retrospectively from your dad's birth date

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Posted in f.art

Obviously – Ultimate Startup pitch in 5 slides


The Ultimate Startup pitch in 5 slides

Slide 1 Ultimate name for your startup

We took the hard job of trying to name our startup over an agile sprint, and we came up with astounding algorithms for doing the same.

Here are the top 3 in case you are interested

  1. Spell badly, this one is an easy algorithm where you take a common word and spell badly, and you can do it by replacing vowels with a combination of vowels, add unnecessary consonants, or remove vowels that occur in between so you can actually get a domain name easily and look good on Crunchbase.
  2. Take a noun and make it a verb that is not already in the dictionary  or take a verb and make it into a noun, usually the play is in the prefix and suffix. Prefixes common include En-, Eu-, Al-, Alti-, Uber-, True-, Super-, All-, Uni-, Ex-  and the most common suffixes include  -ly, -ate, -fy, -in. We preferred this considering our sprint was only 4 weeks.
  3. Take 2 orthogonal words and combine, dimensions commonly includes, number, shape, body part, taste, location,  grocery, sensation, color, element, disease, business, currency, numbers etc. These names will lead to higher valuations usually not so reasonable just like the names. OvalSilver, GreenTomato, ChillSquare, BitterEye, 42Nuts, DollarFever,  are all good names.

Slide 2 Ultimate Tagline for the name

Considering the cerebral processing capacity of investors, we recommend to limit tag lines to 3 words and never more. It is luckily not 3 times the size of your naming sprint. This sprint although short, its outcome, has a veto power on upcoming sprints like product design and modularity of the value proposition.

The 3 word magic formula below

<<present continuous tense verb>> <<on a simple target object>> <<with a perceived/promised unmeasurable value >>


<<present tense verb>> <<present tense verb>> <<present tense verb>>

With value explained in Slide 3

  • Creating customer surprises
  • Reaching peaks slowly
  • Growing traffic exponentially
  • Building plants organically

There are theoretical foundations and void reasons for conducting market research, product design, and business model together in parallel. But…

We being a lean startup with a freelancing founder, could only afford to do this in series, even if this  means diminished disproportionate value  of our ultimate startup.

Slide 3 Ultimate Value Proposition

Product Value Proposition is a little tricky, if your second sprint in the tag line did not give 3 reasonable well meaning words to count on and build layers of meaning and stories that resonate with all 3 parties (investor, customer, employee), consider a pivot immediately and redo slide 2.

If the story sold with other startups (got revenues and investments) with a different set of verbs only focus why you are forever superior fundamentally and stick to this story.

If you are so unique and only one attacking the open available market share, unfortunately we all have to rely on your creativity. Again only 3 verbs

Here is how our current product value proposition is realized

ob•vi•ate To anticipate and dispose of effectively; render unnecessary

Major market need, available capital to be freed, immediate value, and does not disrupt any existing processes and structures, so every customer can feel safe, that is till they actually buy the next module

ob•fus•cate To make so confused or opaque as to be difficult to perceive or understand

Data driven, closed IP, and here is where magic happens, and we will not tell you the secret sauce, but you can taste it from our existing customer testimonials and master chef reports available when you can give away your contact and few body fluid samples on our website for free. Also this is patent pending across 3 major geographies where we see our product leading the market, and you can see the empty provisional patent application by clicking on the link hidden on our website again.

ob•li•vi•ate  To forget, to wipe from existence

Actionable insights that forces decision, forgets reason, and renders functions redundant, as we are the only ones riding that massive, disruptive wave happening beneath in the technology ecosystem. Enabling this is our strategic partnerships with stealth technology leaders.

You can insert a complex picture, typically pushing the limits of smart art or keynote charts with some major links to research reports across the usual suspects like forrester, gartner, and other old analysts that are anyway in a time warp and take the golden quadrant position for yourself.

Slide 4 Ultimate Business Model

Always assume data in your favor in the order of similar startups operating in the space, countries where you intend to operate, and customer segment that nobody heard of existed, till now.

Of course all listeners will lean back to their familiar territories, and your new ground will mostly be lost in translation.

Include metrics with 3 letter acronyms including ROI, CTR, IFT, MAU, MRP, LTV, there is hesitation to question in most pitch sessions that are so tightly timed, you don’t even have to expand these, and all listeners are supposed to know. And yes, include a graph with a positive slope and X-Axis having time line, and Y-Axis one of those value words (revenue, satisfaction, experience, scale, margin, reach, …), a classic.

Slide 5 Ultimate Team

This is an important slide for securing trust. And the goods of exchange is pedigree , and the maximum number that is empirically accepted is 3 again. Hacker, Hustler, Designer; other useful combinations include know him since my childhood, associated for more than 2 decades since smoking our first joint together in high school, and we met at a VC event/b.school/yahoo/zynga/ebay/google or any other billion dollar dysfunctional corporates will work as well.

For style you can include metrics like LinkedIn 7000+ connects, Klout  91, Kred 742/7, mechanical turker rating 42, tumblr followers 420 …

Obviously you don’t want to give away any of your detailed pedigree information till a term sheet is in sight, so always add only logos and never text about the degree or the university. Also they look great on the slide with proper contrast.

Unreadable last names with more than 16 characters or bizarre combinations of consonants and vowels are welcome, along with shortened first names.

Good luck with your pitch, ecosystem respects you for your courage, and freely giving away advisory equity and other entitlements for vague expertise.

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Posted in cognoise

Of not buying a Ruosh

I went to buy a pair of Ruosh at a store newly opened in our area. Lush, classy store with just enough labor and lot of time given for the customer to spend in the selections.
Only the store does not offer any discounts, before I tried any shoe I told the sales guy I am looking to buy online possibly at myntra for at least 30% discount. I even showed him the online prices to see if he would match. No luck there.
But what happened next was unexpected. The sales guy declared, that any online purchased shoes will not be serviced in the store.
3 conclusions that I drew were

  • Firstly any shoe of the brand may require a service during its life time say 2 years
  • Second brand is not seeing it’s own shoes the same way across 2 channels
  • Third by denying a customer a better price and threatening of no service was seen as a way to improve store sales of the brand

You may have a great value perception but if on the ground brands’ employee incentives and brand outcomes are in conflict across channels, it will only pave way for an early exit from the market.


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Posted in cognoise

Stepping back again and again


I step back so much that, now I just keep saying hi!!!

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Posted in f.art

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